I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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