I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
