Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize