I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
