You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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