You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
