Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
