And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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