So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
