Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
