Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
