i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
