apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize