I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think my moral compass just broke
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