How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
