; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
wat bout pragnant strippers??
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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