but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
