If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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