This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
