google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
