Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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