Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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