How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
