Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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