i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
