I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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