ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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