Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
