Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
