you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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