Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
