Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
