She announced her abortion via fbk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
