He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
