I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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