okay pat passed out under dana's car
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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