If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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