i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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