How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize