i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
