billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
