I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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