I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i think i have two assholes
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
