my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
