all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize