Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She needs sedatives and a leash
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize