No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
