just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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