"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize