he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
