When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
