are you still at the devil's house?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
