okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
