Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
