The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
