Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There are leaves in my underwear?
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