I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
