she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
