I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize
