; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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