Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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