what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
