I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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