So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
